Unfortunately, I'm the type to not suffer fools gladly, so I'm afraid that's simply out of the question.
[Wow.]
Besides, this world has no shortage of water, and bottled water seems to be incredibly common nowadays, so really, you'd have to be, as I said, an imbecile to run into that sort of situation.
[He's just saying.]
Besides, I can hardly imagine any sort of water that comes from a Pokemon to be hygienic. You may as well be drinking dog drool while you're at it.
I guess you're right...and when you put drinking a Pokemon's water like that...
[He can't help but make a slight gagging sound at the description.]
Definitely gonna scratch that one off the desperation list.
Okay but real talk though? It doesn't hurt to think about worst case scenarios. I know a dude who thought he was damn near perfect and lemme tell ya, certain situations beyond your control can happen. It happened to him! I think it brought him down a peg or two.
[...Only very slightly though.
But man, look at him trying to give Dio of all people a life lesson.]
[Mercifully since this is audio only, Hagakure can't see Dio's eye twitch. Does this fool really think that he, Dio, needs life lessons from well, this fool? And he knows all about what happens when things go his way, but being brought down a peg or two? No, not him. Not Dio. Even if that brat Jonathan got a few shots in, he hardly put him in his place. No, if anything, he's just going to take longer to show that little shit where his place is. Beneath him, Dio, of course.
When he starts talking, his voice is clearly a little strained. He's not happy. Far from it.]
Rest assured, if I need life lessons, I'll seek out someone far more qualified than the man who looks at his Pokemon and sees his next meal.
[Similarly, if this were video Dio would be seeing Hagakure's indifferent shrug. That probably wouldn't help his mood at all so it's for the best he didn't see it.
He also chuckles a little...and that obviously can be heard.]
Okay okay, ya got me. Fair enough! Sorry, it's just my thing to drop that kinda stuff since I'm always doing it when I do readings with my clients.
[And shortly after,]
And hey, for the record I never said I'd eat my own Pokemon! That's goin' a bit too far.
[HE HAS SO MANY REGRETS RIGHT NOW. THIS LITTLE SHIT...
Also for the first time this conversation, there's a bit of legitimate anger in Hagakure's voice when he answers that last bit. If there's anything he hates, it's snide comments from people who have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to fortune-telling.]
And that's not how it works. I can't see the entire future- I get pieces of it in the form of visions. I can foresee things, but it's not like I foresaw this particular conversation! Like I said man, I dialed a totally random number. I didn't know what I was gonna get.
[Given that Dio might be the type to give him a break in a literal sense, Hagakure might want to rethink his word choice there.]
That all sounds rather useless if you ask me. A random piece of a thing without context sounds like the type of thing to cause confusion more than it does clarity.
[Yeah, just continuing to talk crap about your talent over here buddy.]
The big thing about my ability is my accuracy. My predictions come exactly true twenty to thirty percent of the time.
[Then, quickly,]
And before you even say something like, "That's such a ridiculously low number! Not worth it!" Just. Just consider that for a sec. I can predict anything with that much accuracy. I am not even messin' around with that.
If I predict to a client that they'll find huge success in something that already involves low odds, there's a higher chance they'll succeed! If I predict failure in something, that's high odds that they won't fail!
[He wasn't going to say ridiculous, so much as he was going to say useless, useless, USELESS. Or muda muda muda if you'd prefer.]
Oh my, when you put it that way...it sounds like a lot of words to say that you can predict anything. Unless you can't. And sometimes, who knows, it might even come true.
[...about the only way he could sound like more of a condescending jerk is if he suddenly aged seven years, became a vampire, and started talking about bread, sorry.]
Ugh, you just don't get it, man. I'm pretty sure there's gonna be no convincing you, either, but that's fine! I have plenty of supporters and that's all that matters!
[He really hates not being able to convince people, but he's beginning to accept that Dio is just...too Dio for that.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice
[Wow.]
Besides, this world has no shortage of water, and bottled water seems to be incredibly common nowadays, so really, you'd have to be, as I said, an imbecile to run into that sort of situation.
[He's just saying.]
Besides, I can hardly imagine any sort of water that comes from a Pokemon to be hygienic. You may as well be drinking dog drool while you're at it.
voice
[He can't help but make a slight gagging sound at the description.]
Definitely gonna scratch that one off the desperation list.
Okay but real talk though? It doesn't hurt to think about worst case scenarios. I know a dude who thought he was damn near perfect and lemme tell ya, certain situations beyond your control can happen. It happened to him! I think it brought him down a peg or two.
[...Only very slightly though.
But man, look at him trying to give Dio of all people a life lesson.]
voice
When he starts talking, his voice is clearly a little strained. He's not happy. Far from it.]
Rest assured, if I need life lessons, I'll seek out someone far more qualified than the man who looks at his Pokemon and sees his next meal.
voice
He also chuckles a little...and that obviously can be heard.]
Okay okay, ya got me. Fair enough! Sorry, it's just my thing to drop that kinda stuff since I'm always doing it when I do readings with my clients.
[And shortly after,]
And hey, for the record I never said I'd eat my own Pokemon! That's goin' a bit too far.
voice
[Dio's not even sure Hagakure can read, so why would anyone pay him to read anything for them?]
voice
[WOW, RUDE, DIO...just because he prefers reading futures over reading actual books...]
voice
[If Hagakure's never heard a twelve year old sound like they're judging his entire existence before...well, this is what it sounds like.]
Couldn't you have predicted how this was going to go?
voice
[HE HAS SO MANY REGRETS RIGHT NOW. THIS LITTLE SHIT...
Also for the first time this conversation, there's a bit of legitimate anger in Hagakure's voice when he answers that last bit. If there's anything he hates, it's snide comments from people who have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to fortune-telling.]
And that's not how it works. I can't see the entire future- I get pieces of it in the form of visions. I can foresee things, but it's not like I foresaw this particular conversation! Like I said man, I dialed a totally random number. I didn't know what I was gonna get.
voice
That all sounds rather useless if you ask me. A random piece of a thing without context sounds like the type of thing to cause confusion more than it does clarity.
[Yeah, just continuing to talk crap about your talent over here buddy.]
voice
[Is he...agreeing that it's useless a lot of the time, or-]
voice
Are you admitting to being some sort of scam artist?
[...see, this is why he goes to Meridiana for his readings and not you, buddy.]
voice
[Yeah, now he's realizing how bad that sounded.]
The big thing about my ability is my accuracy. My predictions come exactly true twenty to thirty percent of the time.
[Then, quickly,]
And before you even say something like, "That's such a ridiculously low number! Not worth it!" Just. Just consider that for a sec. I can predict anything with that much accuracy. I am not even messin' around with that.
If I predict to a client that they'll find huge success in something that already involves low odds, there's a higher chance they'll succeed! If I predict failure in something, that's high odds that they won't fail!
voice
Or muda muda muda if you'd prefer.]Oh my, when you put it that way...it sounds like a lot of words to say that you can predict anything. Unless you can't. And sometimes, who knows, it might even come true.
[...about the only way he could sound like more of a condescending jerk is if he suddenly aged seven years, became a vampire, and started talking about bread, sorry.]
voice
Ugh, you just don't get it, man. I'm pretty sure there's gonna be no convincing you, either, but that's fine! I have plenty of supporters and that's all that matters!
[He really hates not being able to convince people, but he's beginning to accept that Dio is just...too Dio for that.]
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